If it hasn't become apparent enough... I need to cleanse myself of some toxic thought patterns that I carry around. For example, it seems that whenever my child decides to be on a different schedule than every other day, I automatically admit failure to myself because I'm not going to be able to accomplish anything I planned that day. Sad thing is, this is so not true. If I were more flexible and didn't get fixated on my runaway feelings I would totally accomplish my day, maybe even in a better order. Not only would I be happier through-out the day, but my daughter probably would be too. I have learned through the past week that to me, failure = insecurity. Of course, Lysa TerKeurst got to me with her book, Unglued, when she stated,
"Realities based on runaway feelings rather than truth always lead to one thing - insecurities... Toxic thoughts are so dangerous because they leave no room for truth to flourish. And lies are what reign in the absence of truth" (141).
I hate feeling insecure. Who doesn't?! It makes me doubt myself and my abilities. Even thought I know this isn't true, the more I think it, the harder it is to stop and believe otherwise. Thoughts are like snowballs. Once you get on a roll of negative thoughts, they tend to build on each other in a progressively bad way, eventually making a very ugly snowman. At least we have the hope that the same works for positive thoughts too. The more we try to slow down and work through the reality and truthfullness of our thoughts, the less toxic they will become and our feelings won't start running away with us either! Wrong thoughts create the wrong perception which create a FALSE reality. My thoughts are leading me astray, making me think that I know what's going on because I'm basing my thoughts on my feelings. I have the ability to be flexible. I have the ability to go with the flow and get stuff done. If I don't get everything done, that does NOT mean that I am a failure. No need to feel insecure, pretty much every mom or adult goes through this. Allowing our brains to see things in the wrong way makes us believe that things that are NOT true, are! I'm not a failure. I know this. Believing in a false reality is what happens when we base our thoughts on our feelings! This is NOT a good way to go through life because thoughts are WAY easier to control than feelings; however, feelings are a great indicator to start paying attention to your thoughts before your feelings get to a point where you can't reign them in. Now to find a GREAT way to catch myself in the makings of my feelings that typically runaway like crazy so I can stop the thoughts from infecting my entire being - and my entire day.
Rachael Kool, professional counselor and normal, everyday adult screw up